There’s hardly a shortage of opinions on how to parent. Advice for parents is as readily available as your next door neighbor, the self-help aisle of any book shop or, easier yet, online. With all the responsibilities of parenthood, not to mention the myriad assortment of personalities, situations, and circumstances, it’s easy to sometimes feel overwhelmed, and somewhat helpless, in resolving some parental-child issue. Such issues can arise many times in a single day! You may want to call a friend to get their take and perhaps even a few ideas on how to deal with the situation. Others may reach for a phone for an 800 number to an organization that might be helpful. The problem arises when you consider that, while all well-meaning people, you’ll get a range of answers, in the form of ‘advice for parents’, that spans the length and breadth of the subject! How are you able to tell the good from the not-so-good advice?
The short answer is that it’s difficult, at best. Parents aren’t usually shocked to discover that there’s no instruction book for parenting. What may prove shocking is the discovery that, over time, you’ll encounter the most amazing situations as a parent.
As with any advice, you must always consider the source. For example, you may have a good friend who has all kinds of discipline problems with her own kids. Your Mom probably has the inside scoop on the results of varied strategies on child-rearing, having raised you! However, your parenting style may be completely different, so it may prove difficult to apply her specific advice to your family. OK, so you’ve got Mom’s best advice for parents. Now what?
Today, most communities have a variety of organizations dedicated to the healthy upbringing of kids, addressing a variety of parenting problems, from substance abuse to obesity. These organizations generally put out pamphlets and newsletters that can provide helpful advice for parents.
There are thousands of self help books available on the subject of parenting. If you browse through the book shop selections, you’ll find that each author has an ‘agenda’, not necessarily in a negative sense, but nonetheless based on a list of premises with which you may or may not agree. It may take some time, but can be worthwhile in finding advice for parents you can use. Reading reviews of a number of different books, available in online book shops, will give you a general flavor of that particular expert’s style as a parental advisor. When you find an author whose basic concepts ‘gel’ with yours, give that book a shot.
If you have a religious adviser, good friend or a sibling, whom you trust and feel comfortable with, give them a call.
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In the end, the decisions lie with you. When you make a practice of talking with other parents on general child raising issues, you’ll come to feel more confident in your own judgment and less dependent on others to solve even the knottiest of situations. There are a few words of advice for parents that you’ve likely heard before, but still bears mentioning. If you give your children love and time, presenting a consistent pattern of behavior that guides your actions, you’ll do fine, even though you may gather a few gray hairs along the way!
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